Hello lovlies! I am alive! I'm glad to be posting again - so much for the 1 week straight I was this | | close! Reasons for my absence? Monday - went to my wonderful friends house, and we had some much needed girl time (makeup, movies, and of course food), and on Tuesday I went to my grandma's house so that I could work with her today. She has Internet but I was not presented with an apropriate opportunity to take advantage of her computer. Now I'm home!
First off Monday was a blast! I ate to much at my friends house but I didn't binge. Which in my opinion is fantastic. Also I did week 1 of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, and went on an hour and a half walk with my friend! Also the prom dress fitting I was worried about? Completely groundless - the dress fit perfectly and they actually had to take it in a bit.
Tuesday was filled with more overeating as the party fest with said friend continued. Still though it wasn't binging - I was full, but not dieing, and everything was consumed consciously. Also did day 3 of weights on http://www.trulyhuge.com/free_weights.htm which I am really enjoying.
Wednesday was spent taking advantage of the sunshine by taking my dog Sophie out for a walk. She's a puppy, and I don't remember whether I've said it before but I've been dragging her along on my half mile jogs to one and a half mile jogs. She has no issues keeping up and can easily outrun me haha. Also did Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. When I went to my Gram's house, I enjoyed a slice of lemon meringue pie. It was good. Not great but good. Probably could have done without it but *sigh* oh well
Today: I spent all day on my feet working - We clean houses :D or "home detailing" as my grandma likes to put it. I ate good today really good. Still hungry though! I didn't have enough time to do weights today like I planned (I did have enough time actually seeing as I don't go to bed till 12, but certain family members might kill me if I hauled out the free weights and started exercising this late due to noise complaints) but I did jog for 1 mile. I've been doing really well cutting back my coke zero addiction from 3-4 to 1 a day. Drinking whey shakes definitely helps! haha
*Side note, today was a great day until this evening... I just got into some sort of slump - It's sort of hard to describe, I'm just all of a sudden pissy with everyone. I was actually really really bite-your-head-off-angry, until I went on the jog and started writing this post, now I'm just in a "I-am-not-angry-but-still-indignant-at-what-ticked-me-off-in-the-first-place" type of mood. Anyhow...
Today's food journal:
- 2 packets of Weight Control Oatmeal, Brown sugar and cinnamon
- 1 croissant
-1 wedge of laughing cow cheese
-1 creamy yoplait tropical banana, pineapple and coconut yogurt (tasted like pina calda)
- 1 cup of almond milk mixed with 18 grams of chocolate whey powder
- *sandwich* 2 slices weight watchers whole wheat bread, 1/4 cup egg whites, 1 wedge of light laughing cow cheese, and mustard!
- 1 peanut butter fibre bar
- *sushi* (California rolls, approximately 1/2 cup chicken teriyaki, 6 slices of assorted sushi pieces -i.e raw fish on rice- half a bowl of miso soup, and 1 tempura shrimp.
-1 rice pudding
- 1 vita top muffin
- 1 peanut butter fibre bar (yup definitely have an addiction with these things...)
- 1 bite of dark chocolate
I've been having nasty thoughts in my head these last few days and they need to stop now! It's a constant war inside my mind to maintain my weight and to lose it. I desperately want to lose it and I desperately want to maintain it. Right now the maintaining is winning by the sheer promise of, DeeDee if you really want to lose the weight again you can; just give yourself one more week of maintaining to see how it goes. And then the one week goes by and I make the same deal with myself. 1 week at a time. But this week stress has been rising and I keep finding myself thinking more and more about stopping this, and restricting like mad. I won't. I can't. One more day. Just thought I would put that out there, because it's been really bugging me, and I feel as though I can't tell anybody who actually knows me. I will eat normally. I will eat enough to fuel my workouts, my addiction to fidgeting, and my overall up and going lifestyle. I am beautiful. 'Nough said.