Friday, 23 March 2012

And then... Life got in the way

Hello lovlies! I am alive! I'm glad to be posting again - so much for the 1 week straight I was this |  | close! Reasons for my absence?  Monday - went to my wonderful friends house, and we had some much needed girl time (makeup, movies, and of course food), and on Tuesday I went to my grandma's house so that I could work with her today. She has Internet but I was not presented with an apropriate opportunity to take advantage of her computer. Now I'm home!

First off Monday was a blast! I ate to much at my friends house but I didn't binge. Which in my opinion is fantastic. Also I did week 1 of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, and went on an hour and a half walk with my friend! Also the prom dress fitting I was worried about? Completely groundless - the dress fit perfectly and they actually had to take it in a bit.

Tuesday was filled with more overeating as the party fest with said friend continued. Still though it wasn't binging - I was full, but not dieing, and everything was consumed consciously. Also did day 3 of weights on which I am really enjoying.

Wednesday was spent taking advantage of the sunshine by taking my dog Sophie out for a walk. She's a puppy, and I don't remember whether I've said it before but I've been dragging her along on my half mile jogs to one and a half mile jogs. She has no issues keeping up and can easily outrun me haha. Also did Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. When I went to my Gram's house, I enjoyed a slice of lemon meringue pie. It was good. Not great but good. Probably could have done without it but *sigh* oh well

Today: I spent all day on my feet working - We clean houses :D or "home detailing" as my grandma likes to put it. I ate good today really good. Still hungry though! I didn't have enough time to do weights today like I planned (I did have enough time actually seeing as I don't go to bed till 12, but certain family members might kill me if I hauled out the free weights and started exercising this late due to noise complaints) but I did jog for 1 mile. I've been doing really well cutting back my coke zero addiction from 3-4 to 1 a day. Drinking whey shakes definitely helps! haha

*Side note, today was a great day until this evening... I just got into some sort of slump - It's sort of hard to describe, I'm just all of a sudden pissy with everyone. I was actually really really bite-your-head-off-angry, until I went on the jog and started writing this post, now I'm just in a  "I-am-not-angry-but-still-indignant-at-what-ticked-me-off-in-the-first-place" type of mood. Anyhow...

Today's food journal:


- 2 packets of Weight Control Oatmeal, Brown sugar and cinnamon

- 1 croissant


-1 wedge of laughing cow cheese

-1 creamy yoplait tropical banana, pineapple and coconut yogurt (tasted like pina calda)

- 1 cup of almond milk mixed with 18 grams of chocolate whey powder

- *sandwich* 2 slices weight watchers whole wheat bread, 1/4 cup egg whites, 1 wedge of light laughing cow cheese, and mustard!

- 1 peanut butter fibre bar


- *sushi* (California rolls, approximately 1/2 cup chicken teriyaki, 6 slices of assorted sushi pieces -i.e raw fish on rice- half a bowl of miso soup, and 1 tempura shrimp.


-1 rice pudding

- 1 vita top muffin

- 1 peanut butter fibre bar (yup definitely have an addiction with these things...)

- 1 bite of dark chocolate

Calories: 2290

I've been having nasty thoughts in my head these last few days and they need to stop now! It's a constant war inside my mind to maintain my weight and to lose it. I desperately want to lose it and I desperately want to maintain it. Right now the maintaining is winning by the sheer promise of, DeeDee if you really want to lose the weight again you can; just give yourself one more week of maintaining to see how it goes. And then the one week goes by and I make the same deal with myself. 1 week at a time. But this week stress has been rising and I keep finding myself thinking more and more about stopping this, and restricting like mad. I won't. I can't. One more day. Just thought I would put that out there, because it's been really bugging me, and I feel as though I can't tell anybody who actually knows me. I will eat normally. I will eat enough to fuel my workouts, my addiction to fidgeting, and my overall up and going lifestyle. I am beautiful. 'Nough said.

Monday, 19 March 2012

The wrong Direction

Hello lovlies! It's been a wonderful weekend, but I'm quite happy to have it over with, and perhaps some normalcy returning to my life. This post is going to be concise, cause I am very tired! I might not get to post tomorrow because I having a sleepover... sorry about that :( also I was messing around in the comment section and accidentally disabled, then in an attempt to re-enable them deleted them (I think?). I am reeeally sorry - I'm still getting the hang of this whole blogging thing hehe XD

Okay food Journal:


- 1/4 cup of egg whites, with 2.3 oz of banana chopped in it

- *Smoothie* 1 cup almond milk, 3.2 oz banana, 18 grams whey powder, 1 rice pudding (we were out of all other fruit so ya...)


- Pita from the pita pit

-6 oz sweet potato fries

- 1 peanut butter fibre bar


- 3 slices of home made pizza (gosh can my friend's mom cook!)


- 1 cinnabon bar

Calories eaten: 1832

Workout: This is where I was talking about with the post title. 2 days ago I posted my muscle mass percentage being 43.9. Well today it was 43.4  it doesn't bother me in the least bit as I realise that there is a certain error margin (and I don't expect to bulk up overnight) but still just noting the fluctuation, being in the wrong direction... 2 weeks from now and we'll see...

- Day 2 of Weights I used 5lb weights because this is the first time I've done this routine, but I'm going to up all of the sets in day 2 too 8lb weights next time and see how it goes.

-hour and a half walk with le friend (cold but a brilliant end to a brilliant day)

-2.5 mile jog around the block (again, and again, and again, hehe tomorrow I'll be running in the morning and able to jog outside of my cul-de-sac) 

Post notes:

- I'm sort of embarrassed to admit this but I sort of freaked out about tomorrow. I'm going in for my prom dress fitting. Last time I went I weighed 88.8 lbs (I'm really short but this was still underweight) but have since gained (on purpose) to 94.7 which is just within my healthy bracket. That being said it would absolutely kill me if they had to let the dress out. I know this is vain, and as I'm typing it I feel really silly but I just thought I would put it out there. Anyhow I'm off to bed, before I keel over from exhaustion. Night!

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Where has the day gone?

Hello lovelies! Hope your all having a fantastical weekend/spring break. I swear today is a black hole - I don't know what to make of it. I can't believe I'm sitting here typing this post, and contemplating going to sleep! Begone ye' evil weekend stealer - back from the week, from whence you came!

Today was busy. I woke up ate breakfast (twas nummy) and did Jillian Michaels ripped in 30   It kicks my ass, which is what I want... still though *ouch* I'm sore! After that grocery shopping - got lots of lovelies this week, which will sure to be making an appearance. Also this week I'm going to be posting *hopefully 3-5 recipes, as I make 'em. I've missed cooking :( Then I spent the rest of the day hanging out with my friend :D Then I got home at 10:00 and jogged for 2 miles. I don't like jogging in the dark... at all... so I jog the length of my street, back and forth, until 2 miles is up. How do I know when this is? Well I use *this site* to know. Tomorrow is going to subsequently just as hectic if not more so but we'll see! Anyhow here is the food log for the day;


- 2 packs of weight control oatmeal (last 2 packs and I forgot to pick some up!)

- *concoction* 1 strawberry and banana yoplait, mixed with 1 sugar free jello cup, and 18 grams of whey powder. Overall verdict - nummy but not as nummy as yesterday's whey powder concoction

- peanut butter fibre bar (looking back I now realise I went a bit crazy with these...)


- I went to Nando's chicken for lunch (highly recommend this place!) and got their chicken pita. I love pita's.

- 1/2 of a fresh out of the oven cheese bun (oh-my-gosh-so-good)  My friends mom loooves to cook and it really helps that she's great at it too ;D


- 1 KFC chicken wing (really small )

- Child's portion of fries

- 1 tbs of coleslaw

- 1/2 of another cheese bun... I have noooo regrets what so ever, though honestly I would have forgone the rest of the meal and just grabbed 2 or 3 more of these!


- Snacked at Costco... Lots of snacking.  Resulted in lots more buying!

- 2 peanut butter fibre bars (eaten in between dinner, and when I got home from friends house)

- 1 bite of dark chocolate

Calories: 1907


- I did week 1 of Jillian Michaels ripped in 30 dvd, which thus far I am loving. I did it as soon as I was done with breakfast.

- 2 mile run, when I got home from said friends house (10:30-11 ish)

*I am sore from yesterday. Tomorrow I'm going to jog 2.5 miles, and do some abb work, but overall I'm taking it light.

*Also just thought I would add my time for jogging 2 miles was 17 minutes and 30 seconds, meaning an average of 8 minutes and 45 seconds per mile! By the end, I am pooped.

*Sorry but I just wanted to say that this past week I have been drinking 1 can of pop in replacement of my 3-4 cans without water habit. Well today I had 3 cans but I also drank it's equivalent in water, so progress is slowly but surely being made!

Question of the day:

What do you think of Diet pops? Good/bad? Okay in moderation? NEVER? Personally 1 a day I don't think will kill me, on the other hand 3-4 a day of what I refer to as the "acid drink" is pushing it.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Friday pop-in

Of all the days of the week it seems to me that Fridays I have the least amount of time - Even on spring break. It's my own fault - I love hanging out with my friends, which is exactly what I did today! So here's a quick pop-in with 8 minutes left till midnight. Today was epic!

Food journal!


- 2 packets of weight control oatmeal

- *concoction* 1 yoplait strawberry banana yogurt (it has trans fat in it! gah but it tastes so bloody good!) mixed with 1 cup of puff wheats, and 18 grams of chocolate whey protein powder.


- *Sandwhich; 1 egg, 2 slices of multigrain weight watchers bread, 1 slice of laughing cow cheese (how bad is trans fat for ya anyway even if it is 0.1g? Just curious...), mustard

- 6 oz of sweet potato fries with ketchup

-  1 peanut butter fibre bar


- 225grams of Hawaiian pizza from the store. I loves my pizza! I missed eating it...

After dinner/after workout snack:

- 1 fibre bar

- 1 cup almond milk (I LOVE this stuff - way better then milk in my opinion) mixed with 18 grams of whey powder.

- 2 bites of dark chocolate to end the day (did I mention I have a chocolate obsession?)

Total calories: 1736


Muscle mass today: 43.9% Honestly I have no clue if this is good or bad... just thought I would start posting it to see the difference.


did day 1 of this website:

I did 3 sets of 15 reps of each of them, with 30 second rest intervals between each new set, and 1 minute rest interval between each exorcise. I used a 5lb weight for all of them as I've never used weights before and didn't want to kill myself (exhaust myself yes) the first time.  Next time I do day 1 I'm going to up the bench press/incline press to 8lbs because I easily made it to 15 reps no problem with both of those. The triceps I need to work at and am sticking to 5lb for the next one. 15 reps of those and I was dead.

- Jogging:

I jogged 1.5 miles in 13minutes 9 seconds.

- Walking

I walked 40 minutes with my friend

Overall a very productive day. Went a bit overboard on the coke zero (had 3) which btw I have a major obsession with. I don't regret it though! MmMmMm SO NUMMY! haha anyhow I'm off to bed! Have a great weekend everybody! See ya tomorrow!

Question of the day:

-  Have you ever heard of the show Supersize vs Superskinny?  If so what do you think about it? Personally I like it, though I can't be sure why - something about it intrigues me, though I realise this show might raise some debate (is it promoting E.D? Unhealthy fad diets?) What's your take on this?

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Spring break madness! and a massive brain dump...

Skip to food journal to avoid rambling...

Okay first off this whole "week long" absence thing has to stop! I really want to post! honestly I do... Its just I get sidetracked - I mean honestly with all the wonderful blogs out there its no wonder. No longer! I'm making a commitment to post once a day for 1 week even if its just "Hi, I'm alive!"

So this is the first week of spring break almost over. WAaAa. It started with a bang - 2 back to back parties. And I was proud of myself cause i didn't stuff my face. I've eaten good since and including the last times I've posted. I'm feeling great. It was a bit of an adjustment in my eating habits (will explain further down) but ultimately more then worth it. I refuse to be under the control of my negative self talk; food does not control me - I control it.

Okay so that summarises Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (2 parties = 3 days)

Monday I did nothing. NOOOTHING!! and it was wonderful... heavenly.... I haven't had a day solely to myself were I bummed around the house in forever! I'm glad I don't have them often though because by the end of the day I was ready to get down and dirty with some hard work.

Which summarises Tuesday; my mom threw out her back so she asked me to take her place at work - she cleans houses for a living. So that's what I did! vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing, you name it. Then I got home and... I went for a 1.5 mile jog . Brilliant! I will run a marathon! I may not be the 'greatest' runner of all time but hey you have to start somewhere.

Wednesday was spent doing homework predominantly. That's the one thing I do miss about school - morning/after school schedule was down pat, and now I have to rely on my *cough* excellent ability to not procrastinate *cue sarcasm* But I did manage to drag my butt up and do a half mile jog, then I decided that while I was in the mood for dragin' buts up from the couch, I took my dog out for a jog/walk  (she's a baby shelti so she can't last to long on the jogging part... yet >:D ) then did week 2 day 2 of the 200 squat challenge. Again it was lovely!

And then today! Morning was veeery lazy. I woke up at 9am (extremely late for the queen of waking up at 5am) at breakfast - which btw takes me about an hour 'cause I savour my food- and lounged about for the rest of the morning. Honestly it's like a gaping hole sucked all thoughts and memory of this morning from my mind! Le day did not start until 12:00pm where I dragged my sisters but out of bed, and got ready myself (me getting ready = 10 minutes, my sis getting ready = 1hour + ) and was out of the house by 1pm to hunt down food! We walked for 2 hours all over my iddy biddy town. We went to dairy queen (for her not me), pita pit ( Which I absolutely love!) and then future shop where I got Jillian's michale fit in 30 days dvd. Me gusta. I'm not going to follow the meal plan or anything but I'm definitely going to try and complete this even if it takes me longer then 30 days ( my jogging is main priority, and as I get into higher millage this month I don't want to over exert myself.). So when I got back from my walk I jogged for 1 mile did the dvd  and now am chillaxin.

There if your still with me then I commend you. If there's anybody actually there in the first place...

Okay food journal time!


- 2 packets of weight control oatmeal
- 1 peanut butter fibre bar
- 1 yoptimal yoplait mango yogurt
- 1 over easy egg
- 1 slice of weight watchers multigrain bread


- ham pita from pita pit (tastes uber good with honey mustard!)
- 1 banana and pineapple n'fibre smoothie from pita pit

Dinner 1:

- 1 cup of veggie chili (got it from costco can't find a link)
- 1 tablespoon of salsa on said chili
- 2 slices of weight watchers multigrain bread topped with 1 slice laughing cow cheese, mustard, and an egg
-6 oz of sweet potato fries
- peanut butter fibre bar

Dinner 2 (after jog and Jillian):

- 1 apple crumble vita top  (I love these things so much)
- 1 container rice pudding
- frozen dinner herb grilled chicken and veggies (bad I know...)
- 1 bite of dark chocolate 

Calories eaten: 2097

Okay so a quick blurb which in future posts I'll get into more. I have an issue with eating large quantities of food. I'm talking 600-800 calories a day. No need to give me the rant - the message has been received. I started noticing negative effects on my body and thought to myself, I can't do this anymore.  I DON'T want to die. It took me over a year to accept that I'm never going to be able to maintain twig thin for all eternity without a quick demise being inevitable. So yes I have gained weight since starting to eat more. Yes there are days when I want to eat nothing and just drop and drop, but I'm just so tired of that constant struggle. I still have my quirks/odd eating habits, but I will fight tooth and nail not to get back to where I was.

 Question of the day: What's your favourite food to eat? Healthy - Not healthy - lay it on me!

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Just another day

Hello Lovlies! How goes it?

Today has gone by extremely quick! To quick even to the point where I'm scrambling to tie up the lose ends (in particular homework) while still managing to get in all the other little things that mike my day complete!

Anyhow that being said today I'm going to get straight to the food log!

Breakfast 1: 6:30am

- 2 packets of weight control oatmeal Which is my absolute favorite! I think it's the soy grits in them that I like so much... hmmm

Breakfast 2: 9:30am

- 1.7oz grapes

Breakfast 3: 10:30am

- *tortilla concoction*: 1 tortilla wrap, 1 wedge of laughing cow cheese  , 1 tablespoon of E.D smiths no sugar added strawberry jam which by the way I think I have a slight obsession with jam....

Lunch 1: 11:30am

- 3.7oz lasagne

Lunch 2: 3:00pm

- 3/4 cup of veggie chili

- 1 wonton soup (frozen from costco)

Dinner 1: 6:30pm

- 1 fruit bagel from silverhills with 2 slices of laughing cow cheese and 2 tablespoons of E.D smiths so sugar added strawberry jam.

Dinner 2: 7:30pm

-Giant omlette: 4 eggs, 1 cup veggie chili, 2.5 sliced cashews. 

 - 1 bite of dark shcocolate ( 0.2oz)

Total Calories: 1949 

Also just wanted to add that I drank 5 cups of water. I'm pretty happy seeing that I only drank 1 of my customary 3 -4 coke zeros... plus I never drink water of my own free volitation so go me *toots my own horn*

Now I'm going to do some wights! Honestly last year I was an excorcise freak, and I miss that feeling of 'being active'. Well miss no longer - Here I go!

Hope ya'll have a great night! Probably won't post on friday/saturday, but will do a brain dump on Sunday!

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

I'm BaAaAaCK!

Hello! I'm back from my 2 week long hiatus! Sorry about that by the way - but oh well; I do what I can when I can!

I guess it's time for some updates. Hmm where to begin... well thinking about writing a blog I had tons of ideas... now I'm just pulling blanks :/

Well first off food wise I haven't been very good... let me rephrase that - I've been awful. It's like I just snapped and decided to eat everything I could possibly fit into my mouth over the course of an hour... and after that nothing. Just for that hour and then I come to my senses.... but AHaAaA it's so frustrating!  Why do I do this to myself? I know how awful I feel afterwards *le sigh* Life goes on.... Speaking of life - it's been very good lately! I made a couple recipes lately which I'm going to share today so ;~D

I've decided I'm going to start journaling what I eat on here - It'll make it easier on me to see what I'm eating when... so here we go!

Breakfast 1: 7:30am

- 1, slice of toasted weight watchers bread, with 1 segment of laughing cow cheese, and 28 grams of salsa.

- 1, 5oz peach

- 4oz pineapple

Breakfast 2: 10:00am

- 16 grams of nature source cashews (they're coated and delicious!)

- 1 strawberry nutrigrain bar

Lunch 1: 12:30pm

- 1, 5.4oz apple

- 1 wedge of laughing cow cheese

- 1 peanut butter fibre 1 bar 100 calorie version

Lunch 2: 3:00pm

- 11.9oz of sweet potato fries

- lots of ketchup...

BINGE: 3:40-4:30pm

-tortilla with cheese
- lots of raw cashews
-half a chocolate orange
-yogurt chips
-a chocolate delight bar

I did not feel very good after this, but it was my obligitory duty to make dinner for my sister today so onto dinner it was!

Dinner: 6:00pm

- 4 oz maple salmon and it was really yummy! (recipe posted below)

Nightime snack:

- 1 cup of almondy milk which I took a tablespoon of pureed strawberries and mixed it with so it was strawberry milk

- 1 piece of weight watchers multigrain bread (which I dipped in the milk)

Okay! Time for the recipe....

Tonight I made maple salmon. I didn't take a picture and quite honestly I'm kicking myself in the but for it now! I got the recipe from

Now I'm off to bed. I'm up at 4 am tomorrow to finish off a project I have due. Tomorrow morning is going to be a weeeEeE bit stressful, but I intend to take everything in stride! One thing I'm really trying to accomplish this week (even though it's almost already over) is not stressing out.

I just ask myself, will it matter 10 years from now? Honestly when you think about it will you even remember this instance in time 10 years from now?

So tell me folks, What do you do to stop the random binge cravings?